Dat Logic
by AcidRain00
Summary: A short fanfiction about the messed up logic in Left 4 Dead 2. Warnings for harsh language, violence and OOCness. Read A/N for more information.


**Okay sooo... this story is about the logic in Left 4 Dead 2. And yeees, I know, it's a video game. Video games would be was less fun if they were realistic, but I thought this would make a good fanfiction. So... here you go.**

**Also, there is violence and some harsh language in this fic.**

_**(The Start)**_

**What Happens: **

Nick was quietly walking just a few feet ahead of his companions, his gun ready while he scanned the area for any infected to shoot. There was nothing, just the silence disrupted by the sound of him walking. He let his guard down and turned around to tell his friends that there was nothing to worry about, when suddenly someone opened fire and shot him right in the shoulder.

"Hey!" Nick yelled, not even wincing at the pain from the now rather large hole in his shoulder. "You just made my health drop by five points you little fucker."

"Sorry..." Ellis apologized, looking down at the ground in shame. "I thought I saw a zombie... turns out it was just Mr. Peanut man..."

**What Should Happen: **

Coach set his gun on his shoulder, coming to the quick conclusion that the coast was clear and that him and his friends could safely access the safe room from where he stood. He turned to tell his friends the good news when suddenly someone opened fire and shot him right in the shoulder. The man dropped to the ground, clutching his shoulder and crying out in agony.

"Holy shit!" Rochelle yelled. "What the fuck?"

"I don't know!" Ellis cried. "I thought I saw a zombie so I shot but my aim is terrible so I shot Coach by mistake!"

"Ellis I hate you!" Coach bellowed.

**What Happens:**

"Fuck you Ellis," Nick said without even thinking about forgiving the hick. "That was _my_ five points of health."

"Here," Ellis said as he pulled his health kit from off his back. "Lemme heal that to make it up ta ya."

Ellis approached Nick and started applying the bandages. Once the gauze was applied, to Nick's leg and wrist, no not the wound on his shoulder which was pouring blood everywhere, the hole from the bullets was gone and there was no more bleeding. Nick even gained around twenty points of health.

**What Should Happen:**

"Now hold on," Ellis said nervously as he retrieved his health kit from his back. "I can fix this."

He crouched beside Coach and opened the health kit, taking out some gauze and wrapping it around the wounded man's wrist and leg.

"Ellis!" Rochelle said in disbelief. "What in God's name are you doing!"

"Healing him!" Ellis answered. "What does it look like?"

When Ellis finished wrapping the gauze, Coach gained no health, the wound in his shoulder did not disappear, it did not stop bleeding, and Coach still hated Ellis.

**What Happens: **

Rochelle looked around and noticed a small, white bottle on an end table in the corner of the room. She glanced around herself to see if anyone else noticed, when she concluded nobody had, she took the bottle and peered it over. It was pain pills! How convenient for Rochelle, who happened to only have thirty-eight points of health and was limping. She unscrewed the top of the bottle and downed the whole thing, not even bothering to read the directions for use. Within seconds she was feeling better, and she could walk normally, too.

**What Should Happen: **

"Pills here!" Ellis called to his allies, looking the bottle over.

"We already all have some," Coach answered, shaking his pills in front of Ellis. "Besides, you seem to be hurt pretty bad, what with your limp and all. You go ahead and take 'em."

"Awright," Ellis agreed as he unscrewed the cap off the bottle and dry swallowed all the pills. Some time later Ellis died from painkiller overdose.

**What Happens: **

"Boomer!" Nick cried, warning his companions of the special infected approaching them. Without thinking, Nick shot at the bulbous infected, and it burst, sending bile everywhere and all over his team mate, Rochelle.

"Aw," Rochelle complained, shaking her pink "Depeche Mode" shirt to try to get the vomit off it. "I just washed this." The girl didn't seem to mind the vomit going all over her brown eyes, causing her to see nothing but a green goo slide down her vision.

A countless amount of common infected swarmed around Rochelle, and she had no choice but to take her fire axe off her back and hack away at the infected while Nick, Coach and Ellis sat around doing nothing. Such great team work.

**What Should Happen: **

"Shit guys, there's a Boomer o'er there!" Ellis yelled, aiming his gun at the round zombie. He pulled the trigger and almost instantly the infected exploded, releasing blood and guts everywhere, as well as some of the bile the Boomer had planned on puking all over Nick, who was covered in the stuff now anyways.

Nick started crying out in pain, dropping his gun and rubbing his eyes.

"It got in my eyes!" he wailed. "It fucking burns!"

A countless amount of common infected swarmed around Nick, clawing and biting at the man. Since Nick had dropped his gun, and was too busy wiping at his eyes to get his fire axe, he was over taken. Coach, Rochelle and Ellis had desperately wanted to gun down the horde to save Nick, but they didn't want to run the risk of shooting him.

**What Happens: **

Ellis died. At the next room with a closed door, the rest of the group could see the orange silhouette of the young man banging on the door and crying out for help to be let out. Even though he could turn the handle himself. He's lazy I guess. Coach opened the door and Ellis had fifty points of health and a gun already.

**What Should Happen: **

Ellis died and he did not appear in a closet or come back to life in any way shape or form.

**What Happens: **

"Clear!" Rochelle yelled as she pressed the paddles from the defibrillator they found up to Coach's dead body. A surge of magic went through Coach and he was back from the dead! Even though he had died of gun shot wounds and not by going to Ventricular Fibrillation or Ventricular Tachycardia.

**What Should Happen: **

Ellis rubbed the paddles from the defib they found together and pushed them up to Nick's chest. "Clear!" Ellis called. A surge of electricity went through Nick and then nothing.

_**(The End)**_

**Yes, that's it, that's all folks! Don't bash me if I get somethings wrong or anything, I'm just a little boy! Not really... anyways, for the painkillers overdose, I tried to Google how long it takes people to die from that but I got nothing, so I bullshit'd it.**

**Hope you liked eit! And ignore any typos I missed please. ^^;**


End file.
